This week is Baby Loss Awareness Week

Grief.

How do you define it?  We all know that grief has many stages….gut wrenching sorrow, anger, deal making, emptiness, denial…..but how long do those stages last?  What order do they come in?

Grief is not a respecter of time and plays out differently in each person.  And in some cases grief never really goes away. 

So how do you manage something with no distinct boarders?

My family is grieving.  Grieving the loss of a child, my grandson.  Peter Lukas was born still on August 19 and it rips at my heart each day.  Some days I am so overcome with sadness.  Sadness over what might have been.  Sadness as I watch my kids try to navigate their loss.  Sadness at the realization that many have forgotten Peter already.

On those days, I have to cling to my HOPE in Jesus.  I have to hang on tightly to the fact that because of what Jesus did for us on the cross I have hope I will one day see Peter and know him.

Evelyn Christenson once said "Sometimes grief is so deep that no words will come, and there is a numbness over our whole being, making praying impossible. It is then that God comes, not with words either, but with Himself. Just His loving filling the void with Himself. With His love, His comfort, His assurance -- and His healing."

He’s all we need when it seems we’ve lost everything.

My daughter-in-love recently wrote “I had hoped to sit with Peter and tell him all about Jesus...but it turns out Jesus will have to tell him all about me. And who better to trust my baby with than Him.”

Such perfect words.

Peter’s life was exactly what God had intended for him.  He went from the warm safety of his mother’s womb to the safety of Jesus’ arms.  I may not be able to understand that plan this side of Heaven but I have already seen that Peter’s life has changed us…..individually and as a family….for good, drawing us all closer to God.

So as we continue this ever changing, unpredictable path of grief, we hold fast to what we know….God is good, sovereign and never changing.  His plan for our lives is always best, whether we can see it now or not.  And because of Jesus we can celebrate….yes celebrate, that Peter is with Him.