Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The art of letting go......

Letting go of something you love is always hard.

But it is especially hard when it is someone you love fiercely.....your child. As a parent of teens, this is the time when we have to step back, let go and let our child step out on their own. We are no longer the "teacher".......really our teaching words become, at this point, like the teacher in Charlie Brown "Wah Wah Wah..."......we are now, the encourager/supporter.

It is a hard shift to make. For so many years, we have been working at teaching our children to be able to stand on their own, now they must take the first steps in trying that out. Natural consequences now become their teacher.......and sometimes that is hard to watch.

It is amazing to me how much I have learned about God's love for me from my love for my children. God spends a lot of time teaching us to walk in His ways after we accept him into our lives. Through others, His word, our quiet times with Him. He doesn't point out every change we need to make all at once, that would over whelm us. But after a time, he lets us go a bit. Lets us step out. If we have allowed him to build a firm foundation, though we may/will stumble and even fall....we won't collapse. And He is always there when we turn back to Him for help.

It's the same with my kids. I have done my best to teach them what they need to know in life. Now I will take a step to the side lines. And though I won't run out on to the field each time they stumble or fall (even though I want to).....I will always be there encouraging them. And I will always be there when they turn back to me for help.

And I will always love them......fiercely!

I've gone through this season already with one child. It doesn't get any easier with the next. In fact, my grip might even have been tighter because I am realizing that it is another step closer to them all being gone.

The art of letting go........I'm still learning it.

Thank goodness that I know that even though I am letting them go.....I'm letting them go into the hands of their Father.....who has had them there from the beginning.


Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

I have a feeling I'm going to be very bad at letting go. Great post!

H-Mama said...

this mom is going to have a tight grip... i just know it. you are handling this with grace, my friend. thanks for sharing.

Sara said...

So what you are saying is that some day I'll cherish the memory of my son calling from upstairs "Mommy I go poopy!"
No seriously, when I was a teenager I couldn't wait to get out. That was one of the reasons I went to Boston. I have a feeling that when the tables turn for me and it's my child wanting to go...I'm with Sarah...God is going to need a crow bar.

TCKK said...

I know you are right, but I have to admit I'm struggling with this right now with my almost 18 year old. But gradually I am starting to let go. I'm so glad God is patient with me.

Growin' with it! said...

please pass the kleenex! i laid in bed w/ my 10 year old last night and shared some things with him. it seriously felt like a charlie brown moment. ugg.

Mocha with Linda said...

They say living through the teenage years are what helps parents let go!

Great thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Wow. This made me tear up reading it, and I don't have to deal with the letting go for another decade & a half. This was an amazing post!

Kim said...

It's not a sudden thing either. At least not in my experience. It's a gradual letting go. After the first one I started preparing right away for the 2nd one, even though it was still several years away. But you're right, it doesn't get any easier. After dropping off the daughter at Word of Life Bible Institute, I cried all the way home on the plane. :-( That's after mentally preparing ourselves for several years. lol

But it's what we work toward, getting them to that point where we can launch them. Hard as it is, it's also incredibly satisfying to see them make it on their own.

2Thinks said...

I am with you all the way here. My facebook status says "...made a new Walton rule for her daughter- "Nobody leaves the mountain."

I just love those Waltons.

This is the second "letting go" post I've read tonight. Hmm. Ya think everyone is letting go? It's gonna be like a bunch of balloons going up, up and away altogether or sumthin'.

Jamie @ Six Bricks High said...

This got me all teary-eyed. I am right there with you! You are so right...sometimes it is hard to watch.

Great post!

Darla said...

i haven't had to go through this yet but i know it is around the corner. ugh. i am just taking it one day at a time. my family has always functioned as a whole unit, i am not certain what it will be like when it isn't complete. that is a hard thought to swallow. i can't imagine doing this without God's help.